Space to Be Me

As I write this, I am sitting and listening to the birds sing, reflecting on how much has changed in the past two years.

I think it can be so easy, when we are in a season of aligning and calling things in, to lose our connection to the present moment. My energy becomes focused on the future I'm envisioning, often forgetting to celebrate that what I'm standing in today was once a vision.

As I look back, there is this blend of awe, nostalgia, and a bit of fear rising. But more than anything, gratitude that I am actually in the place I am today. So much of what I navigated over the last decade was heartbreakingly challenging. As I sit here, I am integrating and stepping into a nine-month container with nine other women to explore what it means to bring sacredness into our lives.

During the opening ceremony, I was surprised to find that the version of myself needing the most support was the one who had held ceremony for other women and attended ceremony herself.

In the last integration session I held for a client, we created space for her to explore and recount all she had been through in the past year. It would be fair to describe aspects of that path as heartbreakingly challenging as well. Not in comparison, but in communion. In honoring the difficult choices the women I work with have made to choose themselves when others didn't understand.

She shared the moment she made a life-changing decision, the panic that ensued, and the regulation she had to learn in order to stay with that decision long enough to experience the breakthrough.

When I asked what her top takeaways were, she said resoundingly, "I can show up for challenging things, and I can make space for myself to be exactly who I am. In that space, I have learned that I have the answers. I learned to trust myself and my inner knowing again. I am unshakeable."

“UNSHAKABLE. YAAAS”, I say.

Little did she know, that moment led me to create Space to Be You, my first digital immersion guide, which was such a gift.

And as I sit here, I can see why my path to creating space for myself has been a lifetime journey, and especially slow over the last two years.

In South Carolina, I felt completely disconnected from the land, nature, my family, and who I was. And now it makes more sense why.

From 2020 to 2024, I was tasked at a higher level with exploring communities. What I found were a lot of people, myself included at times, performing spirituality, ascension, and awakening from a place of trusting their guidance and expanding what was possible. But there were also a lot of people learning how to navigate these spaces without great teachers or examples to follow. Sometimes their wounds were leading.

The wound guiding me was lack, lack of belonging.

So I attracted many experiences that helped me explore that spectrum.

Many ceremonies and retreats I attended did not feel safe. In childhood, sleepovers, picnics, and gatherings didn't feel safe either because they weren't. And as a child, because of the times I wasn't listened to, my life, how I spent my time, with whom, and where, wasn't decided by me.

So the thing I had to learn was how to protect myself.

And I learned that with mama bear fierceness, just to be ok.

Sometimes that was necessary with others, but surprisingly, more often with women. I had no problem holding my own at a bar, on the street, or on public transportation in foreign countries with men. But at retreats, in ceremony spaces, and on spiritual journeys, I had been ignored, abandoned, told to fuck off, yelled at, and talked about.

And I had to sit with what that meant.

I can own parts of my energy that created some of these circumstances. Looking for validation. Sticking my foot in my mouth. Being unprepared.

So I vowed to create spaces that felt safe.

But what I realized is that these spaces are always co-created.

Discernment and alignment become incredibly important.

So I cleared my life of almost everyone and started over this past year. Then I moved to Oregon, called and guided to begin again. Grateful to close the old era with gratitude and open the new one slowly, also with gratitude.

And this is where I sit today.

The 6/6 portal.

Looking back with love, care, and a promise to myself.

During the opening ceremony, I wrote:

“Thank you for saying yes and taking the risk. For trusting more than you ever have in this life.

I have so much gratitude for the woman you are, how you love, and how you show up when others need you.

I promise to show up this way for you now, for the next nine months, and for the rest of this life.

Our heart is an altar, a community, and life is ceremony.

You are on purpose. You have a purpose" is something I have told myself through so many moments. I often say it to clients and on social media.”

Today, I could feel how lonely some of those moments were.

Especially over the last two years, which were largely spent in isolation.

But now, in Oregon, the flowers and the greenness feel like home.

“This is our time to shine. To root deeper. To sing. To be the full expression of my eternal self.”

And so, in my mind's eye, I watched every woman I have ever been. The one afraid of being left behind. The one who felt too much. The one who felt unseen, unheard, and hurt. The one who overprotected. The one who said too much. The one who wanted validation.

I felt them all cross the threshold and spiral into my heart space.

And then I wrote:

“From this moment on, I will walk like the bear, connected to the earth.

Roar like the jaguar, moving between realms.

Soar like the hawk, calling from the sky.

Witness like the owl discern before moving.

And learn once again to open my heart and sing like the songbird, without fear of harm.

I belong to the Great Mother.

My expression, in alignment, is forever welcome across timelines, densities, dimensions, through universes, and in concert with the Great Mother. Let it be so.”

We were asked to bring a flower to ceremony. The week before, I had gone to ask who wanted to come inside to be adored and for the first time ever had been told no. But today, the apricot blossoms called to me. One said yes. I was excited to look up the name and spiritual meaning of the flower that would begin this journey with me. The rose I chose was called Jude the Obscure.

The name comes from the protagonist of Thomas Hardy's final novel, Jude the Obscure, which centers on the tragic conflict between human idealism and rigid societal structures. It asks whether compassion, free will, and spiritual authenticity can survive in a world governed by strict, unforgiving social and religious laws.

Can't make this shit up.

Then tattoos were brought up, and I looked down at my arm, floored.

I had always said this was a peony. For transromation and prosperity. After all, it's what I asked for. It was done in a style popularized by Jayce Wallingford, my professors son, an artist at All Sacred Tattoo in Denver, Colorado. I am committed to supporting female artists, so I was honored to have Sarah Lewis do mine.

As I looked down at my wrist, I thought, holy hell, that looks exactly like the rose I chose for this ceremony.

The color and all. It is famous for having one of the strongest and most unique fragrances of any rose. Instead of a classic floral smell, it has an intoxicating, fruity aroma often described as a mix of guava, citrus, sweet white wine, and tropical fruit. And because the Thomas Hardy novel is known for its themes of unfulfilled dreams, tragedy, and social alienation, the naming of the rose is often viewed as a romantic contrast.

It proves that even out of an "obscure" or somber tale, something of lavish beauty, life, and fragrance can bloom.

Then it became even more synchronistic.

The crystal I also chose came to me around my birthday in December 2024. Yesterday, I felt called to identify it and look up its meaning. It's Flower Agate. Apparently, it is highly valued for its gentle, divine feminine energy.

Other associated meanings include:

Personal Growth: Often called the "Stone of Personal Growth," it is used to foster empathy, self-discovery, and reaching your full potential.

Emotional Healing: Believed to bridge the gap between emotions and reality, clear emotional blocks, and restore inner peace and joy.

Chakra Connection: Frequently used to balance and connect the Heart and Root Chakras, providing both emotional nurturing and stability.

After the ceremony, I went to ground and move with my dog, Tucker, and was guided to eat raspberries, a few leaves, and a rose petal from another rose bush, all associated with the womb space and divine feminine.

I am so excited to walk this journey, integrate the last six or more years, and return to offering ceremony this November, if not before.

I now know I have done the work to soften, open, and be myself without fierceness, no matter the situation. I know that my own intuition, wisdom, and presence are enough.

I am reminded that anywhere we believe we are separate from another person, we are in separation. Anywhere we believe we are unsupported, we are in separation. Anywhere we are negotiating with scarcity, fear, lack, or survival, we are in separation. Anywhere we believe we must protect ourselves from life itself, we are in separation.

The deeper I go into this awakening journey, the more I realize that awakening isn't actually about becoming more spiritual. It's about remembering who we truly are, individually and collectively.

Now I know I am held because I am connected.

Connected to the land.

Connected to my body.

Connected to my heart.

Connected to my purpose.

Connected to the women walking beside me.

Connected to something larger than myself.

I am the ceremony. It flows because I am.

As above, so below, and so within.

this color has been calling to me over the last few months love it. So no surprise that the items I chose for ceremony met me in meaning and color. Peach symbolizes softness, divine feminine energy, healing heartbreak, and receiving. Apricot represents the sweetness of life, vitality, natural timing, and flourishing. Together, they feel like an invitation to soften, trust, and savor the beauty of the present moment.

Work with Me

If you feel called to explore your own elemental blueprint, spiritual awakening journey, or ways to bring more presence, beauty, and intention into your life, you can book a reading or an immersion.

Space to Be You & Live Integration

Sometimes the most meaningful shifts happen after the insight arrives. These sessions are for existing clients and those who have completed the Space to Be You digital guide and want support exploring what surfaced more deeply. We'll work with your astrology, Human Design, Gene Keys, and current life experiences to help integrate the wisdom, uncover next steps, and bring greater alignment into everyday life.=

In-Person Retreats & Costa Rica Immersion

If this kind of remembering speaks to something inside you, I also host private in-person immersions and retreats rooted in nature, beauty, presence, and authentic connection. These experiences are designed to help you slow down, reconnect with yourself, and hear your own inner voice more clearly again.

This November, I’ll also be hosting a group immersion in Costa Rica. Jungle, ocean, movement, beauty, deep conversations, nourishing food, nervous system exhale, and space to simply be human again.

You can choose one, both, or neither. Your body already knows what is calling you deeper.

I look forward to connecting.

XO Amy