What If the Last Twenty Years Were Preparation?

Today I found myself reflecting on my awakening, healing, and evolution. I was reviewing dates and timelines, astrology and Human Design charts, aura photography, and chatting with AI when something unexpected hit me.

What if the last twenty years were never about becoming something new? A role. An identity. A title. What if the consciousness shift so many of us are experiencing is actually remembering our truth?

Not just a personal truth but a collective truth about humanity, and the oneness of the Universe and beyond? And what if it was never about becoming as much as it was about remembering what our soul came here to do and who we are beyond this lifetime? The part of us that continues through timelines, dimensions, densities, and lifetimes. The part that has always existed beneath the conditioning, expectations, wounds, and identities.

When I look back, I can see how attached I became to different roles chasing success. A therapist. Nonprofit founder. Artist. Astrology and Human Design guide. Retreat facilitator.

All I wanted was peace.

So while all of those identities have been meaningful, none of them feel like who I am. Because underneath every role was something deeper. A frequency. A presence. A way of seeing. A way of helping people remember themselves.

When I zoom out and look at the path, the theme isn't awakening.

It's embodiment.

I keep arriving at the same truth from different directions. In Human Design, I carry the Right Angle Cross of Eden 4. This cross is rooted in the transition from spiritual purity into the material world and finding ways to navigate chaos while maintaining a harmonious frequency. This emotional chaos, the disclosure, I am actually meant to illuminate the way through by being my unique frequency.

The more I sit with that, the more it feels true.

The Garden of Eden isn't somewhere else.

Yes, it's the Earth, the land, and nature. But it's also the body, the nervous system, the heart, the voice, and the ability to feel safe enough to fully inhabit your own life.

It is the ability to bring heaven into form, matter.

And one experience keeps returning to me.

In 2021, during a plant medicine ceremony, something happened that I still think about today. My voice opened in a way I had never experienced before. Once I fully dropped in, I found myself singing openly throughout the house. The sounds felt familiar, and I felt the ease, the peace of it.

At the time, I assumed it was simply part of the medicine journey.

Now I'm not so sure.

The more I reflect on that experience, the more it feels like a glimpse into a frequency I wasn't fully capable of holding yet. A doorway into a relationship with sound, vibration, and resonance that I am only beginning to understand as I revisit sacredness.

Making everyday sacred.

Then I was reminded today a similar frequency emerged a few years later during my first retreat in Costa Rica. These were women I loved deeply and had walked through the pandemic with in one-on-one sessions, circles, in a little gazebo, conversations, and community. During one session in an open-air space, my voice began moving through me again in a way that felt almost uncontrollable.

Afterward, the woman receiving looked at me and said, "It feels like you just released something that has been caged in my heart for two years." That moment stayed with me.

Not because I believed I healed her, but because it felt like my field could sense what was ready to move and respond through vibration, matching a tone playing in the music. I now know it was because I felt deep love and felt safe.

Now I think about that time earlier in Denver when heartbreaking challenges were happening. I think so many people around me were not ready to truly heal or to believe what I knew awakening was. So it was like I shut down.

Closing Violet Hive and my office. Leaving Colorado. Moving to Costa Rica. Chiron returns. Grief. Isolation. Family. South Carolina. The loss of identities I once thought I was. Who was I if I wasn't helping, being of service, or keeping the peace?

There were moments I felt abandoned by the world, by relationships, by community, and at times even by God.

Each chapter stripped away another layer and seemed to ask the same question:

Who are you when it all falls away?

And now I am in Oregon.

The trees. The rivers. The creativity returning. The oracle decks. The book. The retreats. Community beginning to come forward.

Not because I'm trying harder, but because something in me has become more coherent.

1 & 2. @igniteyouraura Denver, CO 3. @mystic_aura_photography McMinnville, OR

Recently, I compared aura photographs taken in 2021 and 2026. What fascinated me wasn't the colors themselves. It was the shift from intensity to coherence.

The two 2021 images before and after the plant medicine ceremony showed immense life-force energy, creativity, activation, and transformation. A field that felt almost too large for the system holding it.

The 2026 image doesn't show less energy it shows a different relationship to it and a greater capacity to hold it.

The activation is still there. The creativity is still there. The frequency is still there.

What's different is my relationship to it. There is a settle feeling to it more organized and directed, coherent.

Looking back, the aura photographs feel less like pictures and more like markers along the path. Reminders of what was activated and evidence of what has been integrated. Lately I've realized I'm no longer asking, "How do I awaken?"

The question has become, "What is in the present? What is aligned? Gratitude for whatever is next."

Maybe that's what this season is about. Not becoming someone else. Not finding a new path. Not seeking another breakthrough. But fully receiving and expressing who I have been all along. My eternal self. The soul.

Work with Me

If you feel called to explore your own elemental blueprint, spiritual awakening journey, or ways to bring more presence, beauty, and intention into your life, you can book a reading or an immersion.

Space to Be You & Live Integration

Sometimes the most meaningful shifts happen after the insight arrives. These sessions are for existing clients and those who have completed the Space to Be You digital guide and want support exploring what surfaced more deeply. We'll work with your astrology, Human Design, Gene Keys, and current life experiences to help integrate the wisdom, uncover next steps, and bring greater alignment into everyday life.=

In-Person Retreats & Costa Rica Immersion

If this kind of remembering speaks to something inside you, I also host private in-person immersions and retreats rooted in nature, beauty, presence, and authentic connection. These experiences are designed to help you slow down, reconnect with yourself, and hear your own inner voice more clearly again.

This November, I’ll also be hosting a group immersion in Costa Rica. Jungle, ocean, movement, beauty, deep conversations, nourishing food, nervous system exhale, and space to simply be human again.

You can choose one, both, or neither. Your body already knows what is calling you deeper.

I look forward to connecting.

XO Amy